if u watch closely while i take tests u can see me mouthing profanity at the test paper

(Source: urbancatfitters)


go into a starbucks in NYC and say very loudly into your phone “this movie script is stale and trite! we need some new talent, someone with a fresh outlook” and wait

*has emotional breakdown choosing what to eat at a restaurant*

(Source: amoying)


A windows phone could literally predict the future and I would still want an iPhone


how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you

(Source: hbunot)